I don’t know about all y’all, but I cannot believe the amount of “Mom Shaming” that goes around. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told I was selfish for putting my child in kid’s club so I can workout everyday just so I can be a “fit mom”. Or how selfish I am that I choose to be a working mom, instead of spending every waking moment with my child. On the other hand, I’ve seen and heard people shaming stay at home moms for a variety of reasons. STOP IT!! It’s ridiculous, I know I am by no means a “perfect mom” and I don’t try and pretend that I am. I’m that mom that makes jokes while dealing with a screaming toddler in front of a crowd of people in Target. “This is why I can’t have nice things.” or “Motherhood at its finest! Birth control kids… birth control.”
Now, I make these kind of jokes because that’s how I deal with uncomfortable situations. I wouldn’t trade my kid for anything in the world, he’s the greatest. He can be a real asshole sometimes, but what kid isn’t? Or adult for that matter. But knowing people are looking at you in such a judgmental way really sets me off. “Oh I’m sorry that my kid isn’t as perfect as yours Susan. We all know your kids would NEVER act like that… EVER.” These people sit on a throne of lies. So let them judge me or any other mom, we all know the truth. All kids have asshole moments, it’s life. No child is perfect all the time… don’t feed into the lies.
I am shocked that anyone would shame a mother who is making her health a priority. I go to the gym 5-6 days a week, I exercise for a variety of reasons. One, I have severe depression and anxiety. SURPRISE!! Bet you didn’t see that coming! Exercise is the most underused anti depression and anti anxiety “drug” on the planet. I need to take care of my mental health in order to successfully take care of my child. Does it hurt that exercise makes your body look pretty good? Hell no, it’s a perk!! Two, I want to be able to keep up with the Tasmanian devil that is my child. I want to be able to chase him down if he runs off or just play tag. I want to be able to join him in any and all physical activities with him at the park or anywhere else. I could go on and on about why I exercise and am classified as a “fit mom”, but I’ll save that for another time and post.
I tried the whole stay at home mom thing after I had Grayson. Let me start by saying I have MAD RESPECT for all of you stay at home moms out there. Y’all are amazing! My situation after I gave birth was this… I had just moved to the Portland area, I had no friends, a busy family, and a husband who worked full time. While he was working hard to support our family I spent most of my time alone at home with my son. I have always had a working mentality, it was engrained in me from a young age. I would do some online personal training to fill my time and feel like I was contributing to the household. After 3 months of being a stay at home mom, I couldn’t do it anymore. I was going stir crazy and on top of that, we were struggling financially. So I went back to work. I heard over and over from new people I met or chatted with about how they can’t believe I would leave my child and go back to work. “How sad for you Erika.” “Well Susan, you see… Some of us can’t live on a single income. Some of us have to work multiple jobs just to get by.” Yes, Susan is my go to name for everything. It just seems so fitting.
I love being a working mom. It’s a bit more difficult these days as I am now a single working mom, but we make it work! I work hard and I am extremely goal oriented, always working toward something. I give it my all in the motherhood department and it’s hard. Definitely one of the hardest, yet rewarding, things I’ve ever done in this life. I wish that everyone would take a step back and realize how hard being a parent really is. Then maybe they’d cut us some slack when they come across a mother trying to calm a screaming child. I know I do! I’ve even called out friends for complaining about a child throwing a fit, “How would you feel if that was you in that situation? Would you want others to look at you appalled that your child is human and can’t handle emotions well? No? Cool, stop judging.”
Long story short… We’re all doing the best we can, with what we’ve got. Next time you see a mom struggling, smile instead of giving a side eye. Be understanding, not judgmental. To all you Moms out there… YOU ARE AMAZING!!!
Fit Mom Happy Life 