The Ocean In My Mind

Anyone who knows me well will tell you that when it comes to running away or escaping from reality, the beach is the place I always go. Not always a specific beach, I have several favorites along the Oregon Coast. Realistically, it’s anywhere that I can sit and watch the ocean. Listening to the waves break on the shore, feeling the sea breeze in my hair and sand between my toes, and smelling the salt in the air. This is where I find myself, over and over again.

I am an ocean child, I have had a deep love and passion for it since I was a little kid. It’s vastness, mystery, and power always draw me in. It’s something that is so much bigger than me in every way. I find peace here, even now as I am typing this listening to the waves. The ability to clear my head, come to realizations, and even making life changing decisions are done best when I am here. I can’t tell you exaclty why this is my happy place, but it is and always will be. I can sit for hours watching the water in silence. Thinking about my life, the people I love, and my dreams.

There are plenty of people who will hate on the Oregon Coast, because of the crummy weather that is usually here. But that is where I find myself even more drawn in. Ocean storms are incredible, the power of the water during such storms is unreal to me. Don’t get me wrong, today is probably the most gorgeous day this beach has had in a while and I am soaking up every minute of it with my family. The difference in the last 24 hours here has been nothing short of shocking. It went from stormy and rough water to gorgeously sunny and calm water. I have loved both equally. In those last 24 hours I feel like I saw my life in the ocean. Last year was a giant storm where I struggled to keep my head above water, which is what yesterday reminded me of. Today was a fresh start with no sign of the storm in sight. I played, I ran, I even picked up my glove again and threw around with my Dad. Today I was the happiest I’ve been in awhile, I have my family to thank for that.

I found myself standing at the edge of the sand not long ago, staring at the ocean and completely lost in thought. Before I realized it 15 mins had gone by and my sister walked up and stood by my side. “It’s pretty amazing isn’t it?” I asked her, “Yep, sure is! You okay?” She replied while munching on some cheezits, “Yeah kiddo, I’m fine.” I responded while stealing a couple of her crackers. She walked away and I went back to my thoughts. I thought about how I am finally starting over, 100%. My divorce is finalized and that chapter is officially over. I found myself thinking about how I am single for the first time in years. “I am alone” is something that I was terrified of last year, I’ve come to realize that I am never truly alone and I’ll be just fine.